You don’t always need to know you just have to believe

 

If you asked me 10 years ago what I wanted most to accomplish in my life, I certainly wouldn’t have said it was to become a music journalist and entertainment news broadcaster. Growing up I had many dreams. When I was in high school I love to sing, perform and design clothes like my mother. My first year in college I majored in biology, I thought that I wanted to go to medical school and become a pediatrician or emergency room doctor. Midway through college, I changed course and decided to go to art school. I spent extra hours studying interior design and construction. I pursued theater and created huge pieces of artful renderings for builders. After apprenticed for different companies building expensive homes and shopping malls so I could learn from experience. Then I went back to continue my education and skills in fashion and music education.

For a long time I was so happy just doing fashion and helping artists to develop their voices. But you see what you end up doing isn’t always what you might do for the rest of your life. Being human means you evolve and you go through changes. I love to learn. That’s actually what life is all about, it’s about learning and growing as a person. It’s about developing your talents, allowing yourself the ability to dream and hope for the future. It’s about getting through the hard days and still having your sanity.

Life is never sweet if you don’t have things to challenge you, visions to explore, and questions to be answered. Six years ago I got an opportunity to grow as both a journalist and broadcaster. I believed in it even though many, many people around me did not. I saw the future of online broadcasting.

I had done lots of presentation in school and throughout my life but never considered it a career path. I took the opportunity and develop my skills overtime. At the very least it has been a very rocky road for me with lots of failures but thankfully more successes.

It may surprise you to learn that I have had to fight hard for everything that I have achieved. I’ve spent most of my life surrounded by people who say they loved and cared about me while they worked to sabotage and crush my dreams. In fact, the man I married threatens my life every day and tries to bully me any way that he can even though we aren’t even together anymore. It’s been so horrifying at times that I keep a file on his messages and a diary of actual accounts but that’s a story for another time.

I have at times suffered from depression by mixing with the wrong people and letting their own insecurities reflect how I saw myself in the mirror. In fact, any time I have been down that’s when the really crushing blows are thrown the hardest and when I’m up I see copy cats prowling while they smile.

I have been  luckier than most having my Mom, my dog and a few talented and musical friends to be there for me as I walked my journey. Sometimes it’s just the way it is.

Loneliness is the human condition they say so you have to learn to stick up for yourself and what you believe in. And you certainly have to learn how to be on your own side.

What I now see, is that my day to day routine has become a consistent pursuit of my own dreams governed only by me. I get to grow and explore a field that I love and that keeps me interested and engaged. I can sing when I want to and decide for myself who’s worth spending those little moments with.

One of the main points to be made here today is that you can’t close doors because you think that you can’t make a change. You have to believe in yourself and know that it is never too late to learn something new, and you should always encourage yourself to pursue your dreams. If you don’t you may have regrets and that’s a terrible thing to live with.

Another important thing to consider is that life is precious and not to be lived in a stagnant routine with any kind of negative energy around you.

You must always shake things up by pushing your upper limits. It’s very important to do that if you want to stay inspired and successful. I’m not saying that you have to change everything that you’re currently doing, you may just need to be innovative and think of how you can be unique in what you love to do.

You will learn about yourself every day and grow stronger as you try to pursue a life that matters to you. 

Wishing you greatness and remember if I can make it this far, so can you. Never loose your thirst for knowledge. 

Jax

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4 thoughts on “You don’t always need to know you just have to believe

  1. This was very inspiring. I went though business school. I studied both marketing and management. Midway through that journey I was so tired and done with all the math I ended up in the music school. I was just browsing around and saw a flyer for auditions. I wanted to blow off steam and I didn’t think I would ” make it.” I asked a guy who looked like a teacher if I could audition. He said, ” I don’t see why not.” I found out later he was the chair of the music department. I ended up with a scholarship to study music. I couldn’t finish it. I was taking twenty four credit hours and dying ( figuratively speaking.) I went into business and banking. I started giving up on ” those dreams.” Then, I got into a car crash. The car crash happened at a point in my life where all I needed was a ” time out.” I ran to my safe place and instead of singing songs from other people. I wrote my own and just ” centered myself.” I didn’t expect the road of music it took me down. I think singing songwriting happens to be what I needed to do all along! It’s never too late to let yourself ” live a little.”

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    • That’s a great story. Thanks for telling me. I’m glad you didn’t give up. Music has always been there for me as well but most importantly it’s the sanity it brings that can literally save your soul.

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  2. Very inspiring and touching. It’s refreshing to get the true and honest essence of your passion for life, finding purpose, finding the true you. Not that it needs validation or has weight, but I am proud of you and the journey it took to get where you’re at. It was timely because many may look at you and think it was an easy path. It was not but well earned… Continued success Jax… -davidmclorren

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