Day 3 of 2018 : I am defined by my choices

January 3
I am defined by my choices

I woke up today with my phone alarm screaming and a screenshot that said, “GET TO WORK”.

One of my little jokes that I set days ago to make myself smile and help keep me motivated.

When you realize that you don’t really have to answer to anyone in this world except your own conscience, it’s up to you to get the ball rolling each day.

Sure, I have a team of people who work along side of me but at this point so many years into this game, we all know our jobs and I have never been a big fan of creating situations that I have to micromanage.

I think it’s important to motivate people by offering a sense of purpose and if they jump on board with you, then everyone can feel that freedom to be innovative and creative in what they do. After all, how can you do an amazing job on anything if you don’t understand what your purpose actually is and how that work is going to effect someones life.

Representing indie artists, we effect lives with every move we make and although our job doesn’t define us, the choices that you make do define us.

At the end of the day, you have to decide if your going to spend your life adding value to the world so you are remembered for your time here or are you going to live a selfish life.
That’s the real cross road that we all come to eventually once we become educated about ego and less ignorant.

I always try to take a step back whenever I can and really look at things.

I ask myself, did my time today make a difference to the world around me? Who did my actions effect and was it enough? What did I do that was selfish to protect me and my own environment? What did I do that was done purely for someone else? And how can I do it better tomorrow?

Jacquelinejax-january3b
After all of the crazy Holiday stress and rush of the last 3 months I honestly am so happy that I’m not exhausted at the start of a new year.

Perhaps it’s the excitement of all the projects that I’m looking forward to or it’s a benefit of a few restful movie nights I’ve been enjoying over the past few days.

Either way I’m rolling into this new year feeling invigorated and inspired. I’m comfortable yet challenged.. and that’s not an easy place to get to.

But it’s the place that I’ve been trying to reach for a very long time and maybe with a little luck, I’ll be able to keep this flow at a nice even pace for just a little while.

When you work online, it’s really easy to feel a disconnect between real life and what’s happening in the digital space.

I think a challenge I have always faced by being shy at heart is in sharing intimate details of my life in order to allow people to get to know me.

I’ve faced that double edged sword many times when people have misunderstood my kindness for weakness or silence for snobbery.

Of coarse, I am writing this diary every day with the intention to share a more intimate slice but it’s really just another way that I continue to push and explore my own boundaries.

JacquelineJax-january 3c
Oh yes. The boundaries.

Do you have know what yours are? I continue to discover new things about myself every day. It’s never the same but always very simple. I am what I am and that’s what I’m most proud of.
I’m proud of that fact that over these past 5 years I’ve grown more than in all my years.

I am proud that I found a way to conquer my own personal demons.

Most of all I found a way to be comfortable in my own skin and share that journey with the people I care about in hopes that they can have this moment for themselves.

The first time I broke though was when I woke up and realized …

I am not defined by my work and I’m not defined by what someone else thinks of me..

I am defined by the choices that I make each day and how I handle those choices.

Happy New Year!

Jax

I have been challenging myself to write in my daily diary more often over the past year and I think as a result it’s helped us all get to know each other much better. The best ones are going to be included in a book I plan to publish.

Maybe you can help me by leaving a comment below when I publish something new and it speaks to you.

I don’t yet have an official publishing date but I promise to get it completed once there are enough daily entries that have valuable insights and stories. This is one of those stories that I like. 

Love your feedback, leave me a comment.

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