Day 3 of 2018 : I am defined by my choices

January 3
I am defined by my choices

I woke up today with my phone alarm screaming and a screenshot that said, “GET TO WORK”.

One of my little jokes that I set days ago to make myself smile and help keep me motivated.

When you realize that you don’t really have to answer to anyone in this world except your own conscience, it’s up to you to get the ball rolling each day.

Sure, I have a team of people who work along side of me but at this point so many years into this game, we all know our jobs and I have never been a big fan of creating situations that I have to micromanage.

I think it’s important to motivate people by offering a sense of purpose and if they jump on board with you, then everyone can feel that freedom to be innovative and creative in what they do. After all, how can you do an amazing job on anything if you don’t understand what your purpose actually is and how that work is going to effect someones life.

Representing indie artists, we effect lives with every move we make and although our job doesn’t define us, the choices that you make do define us.

At the end of the day, you have to decide if your going to spend your life adding value to the world so you are remembered for your time here or are you going to live a selfish life.
That’s the real cross road that we all come to eventually once we become educated about ego and less ignorant.

I always try to take a step back whenever I can and really look at things.

I ask myself, did my time today make a difference to the world around me? Who did my actions effect and was it enough? What did I do that was selfish to protect me and my own environment? What did I do that was done purely for someone else? And how can I do it better tomorrow?

Jacquelinejax-january3b
After all of the crazy Holiday stress and rush of the last 3 months I honestly am so happy that I’m not exhausted at the start of a new year.

Perhaps it’s the excitement of all the projects that I’m looking forward to or it’s a benefit of a few restful movie nights I’ve been enjoying over the past few days.

Either way I’m rolling into this new year feeling invigorated and inspired. I’m comfortable yet challenged.. and that’s not an easy place to get to.

But it’s the place that I’ve been trying to reach for a very long time and maybe with a little luck, I’ll be able to keep this flow at a nice even pace for just a little while.

When you work online, it’s really easy to feel a disconnect between real life and what’s happening in the digital space.

I think a challenge I have always faced by being shy at heart is in sharing intimate details of my life in order to allow people to get to know me.

I’ve faced that double edged sword many times when people have misunderstood my kindness for weakness or silence for snobbery.

Of coarse, I am writing this diary every day with the intention to share a more intimate slice but it’s really just another way that I continue to push and explore my own boundaries.

JacquelineJax-january 3c
Oh yes. The boundaries.

Do you have know what yours are? I continue to discover new things about myself every day. It’s never the same but always very simple. I am what I am and that’s what I’m most proud of.
I’m proud of that fact that over these past 5 years I’ve grown more than in all my years.

I am proud that I found a way to conquer my own personal demons.

Most of all I found a way to be comfortable in my own skin and share that journey with the people I care about in hopes that they can have this moment for themselves.

The first time I broke though was when I woke up and realized …

I am not defined by my work and I’m not defined by what someone else thinks of me..

I am defined by the choices that I make each day and how I handle those choices.

Happy New Year!

Jax

I have been challenging myself to write in my daily diary more often over the past year and I think as a result it’s helped us all get to know each other much better. The best ones are going to be included in a book I plan to publish.

Maybe you can help me by leaving a comment below when I publish something new and it speaks to you.

I don’t yet have an official publishing date but I promise to get it completed once there are enough daily entries that have valuable insights and stories. This is one of those stories that I like. 

4 thoughts on “Day 3 of 2018 : I am defined by my choices

  1. Awesome Jax! I loved it. : ) Thank you for expressing yourself in your diary, I appreciate your honesty and integrity Jax.

    I myself have been dealing with my own demons, and daily problems that I somehow solve everyday lol. I’ve run into issues or decisions that I needed to make that I never thought I would be making but I am. The decisions that I have made are on me. I put myself here. I can get myself out, and I will. I own up to every decision I make; good and bad. Despite certain things not going the way things were planned we will still arrive at the time we are meant to.

    I have learned that; what has happened to me over these past few years needed to happen in order for me to grow into the man I needed to become. If it happened years ago I wouldn’t have been ready. We are ready now.

    I know this year is gonna be one of the greatest years of my life; I can feel it and its gonna be extraordinary!! I have seen and been at rock bottom for a while and its not fun. It actually sucks lol but you learn to appreciate what you truly have; especially when its all gone. Or what you have left. Your family, your friends; that are “true” friends and family. The ones that prove the meaning of those words. The ones that will give their shirt off their back to help…The ones that you don’t even have to question their loyalty or integrity. Very few are left but of those mean the world to me.
    I feel the things that you have left after its all gone are the things that define you.They may not be physical things but the lessons learned in time. And what defines me are my remaining family and friends, my hardwork, dedication, determination. perseverance, lessons learned, the shirt/ clothing on my back (the torn/used, worked through clothing and not from Express or top named department stores) and lastly is my WILL to keep going when life gets hard, the ability to stay mentally STRONG and POSITIVE to overcome my battles and eventually win the “war”.

    I have survived this long and have overcome every test and challenge so far and by God we are gonna see this through to the end; and be able to start an adventure of a lifetime for many.

    Thanks for your Diary entry Jax.
    I enjoyed it.
    Cheers to 2018!!
    Hope to see you soon,

    -T

    Liked by 1 person

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